Bulletin 26th April 2015
Mass Times: As on notice board. Friday, is the Feast of St Joseph the Worker
Masses Received: Lately Dead Aidian Sherlock, Alistair Finlay, Agnes Wadsworth, Michael Hinde, Pat Bergin,Rolf Rheinlander.
Anniversaries Mary Wilmington
Birthday Memories Jean Rheinlander
Other Masses Stewart , Kennedy & Callejon Familes, Special Intentions, Sucessful Operation, Anne Brennan (Special Intentions)
VOCATIONS SUNDAY: 2nd collection today is for the Ecclesiastical Education Fund. Thank you.
Next week’s bulletin: Please contact Fr John or ring Stephanie 737 6419 with items for next week’s bulletin.
“I AM THE GOOD SHEPHERD... AND I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR MY SHEEP” – THE WHITE AND THE BLACK!
“I have chosen you, you haven’t chosen me” “You are my Friends”
“Why me Lord? I’m not good enough.” “Yes I know but that’s my problem!” “But I’m Scared!” “Why? I’ll be with you.” “OK, you win, but give me courage to say YES.”
What are the Two most important qualities to become a successful priest?
The constitution of an OX and the SKIN of a RHINOCEROS!!!
A priest’s dilemma – He’ always wrong!!!!
If his homily is a few minutes longer than usual,
"He sends us to sleep"!
If it's short, "He didn't prepare it"!
If he raises his voice, "He is shouting"!
If he speaks normally, "You can't hear a thing"!
If he starts Mass on time, "His watch must be fast"!
If he starts Mass late, "He holds everyone up"!
If he celebrates the liturgy in a quiet voice, He’s a bore
If he puts feeling into it "He's an actor"!
If he is out visiting, "He's never at home"!
If he is in the presbytery, "He never visits his people"
If he decorates the church, "He's wasting money"!
If he doesn't, "He's letting it run down"!
If he occasionally mentions Man. Utd. "He's always talking soccer"!
If he is young, "He lacks experience"! If he is old, "He ought to retire
And if he dies? 'NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE HIS PLACE"!!!
DID YOU KNOW...
That priests only work one day a week !
That priests don’t get married because no one will have them
That the symbol of a bishop is a CROOK
And the symbol of an Archbishop is a DOUBLE CROSS!
That you can please some of the people all the time; all the people some of the time: but not all the people all the time.
In fact you can’t please some people any of the time!!!!!
I’d better go now!