• Bulletin 26th April 2015

    VOCATIONS SUNDAY

     
     

    THEME: THE GOOD SHEPHERD DIES FOR HIS SHEEP”

     

    Mass Times:  As on notice board. Friday, is the Feast of St Joseph the Worker

    Masses Received:    Lately Dead Aidian Sherlock, Alistair Finlay, Agnes Wadsworth, Michael Hinde, Pat Bergin,Rolf Rheinlander.

    Anniversaries Mary Wilmington

    Birthday Memories Jean Rheinlander

    Other Masses Stewart , Kennedy & Callejon Familes, Special Intentions, Sucessful Operation, Anne Brennan (Special Intentions)

    VOCATIONS SUNDAY:       2nd collection today is for the Ecclesiastical Education Fund. Thank you.

     

    Next week’s bulletin:  Please contact Fr John or ring Stephanie 737 6419 with items for next week’s bulletin.

    “I AM THE GOOD SHEPHERD... AND I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR MY SHEEP” – THE WHITE AND THE BLACK!

    “I have chosen you, you haven’t chosen me” “You are my Friends”

    “Why me Lord? I’m not good enough.” “Yes I know but that’s my problem!” “But I’m Scared!” “Why? I’ll be with you.” “OK, you win, but give me courage to say YES.”

     
     

    THE LOST SHEEP

    “What man among you with a hundred sheep, losing one , would not leave the ninety nine in the wilderness and go after the missing one till he found it?... REJOYCE with me, I have found my sheep THAT WAS LOST”

     

     

     

    What are the Two most important qualities to become a successful priest?

    The constitution of an OX and the SKIN of a RHINOCEROS!!!

    A priest’s dilemma – He’ always wrong!!!!

    If his homily is a few minutes longer than usual,

    "He sends us to sleep"!

    If it's short, "He didn't prepare it"!

    If he raises his voice, "He is shouting"!

    If he speaks normally, "You can't hear a thing"!

    If he starts Mass on time, "His watch must be fast"!

    If he starts Mass late, "He holds everyone up"!

    If he celebrates the liturgy in a quiet voice, He’s a bore

    If he puts feeling into it "He's an actor"!

    If he is out visiting, "He's never at home"!

    If he is in the presbytery, "He never visits his people"

    If he decorates the church, "He's wasting money"!

    If he doesn't, "He's letting it run down"!

    If he occasionally mentions Man. Utd. "He's always talking soccer"!

    If he is young, "He lacks experience"! If he is old, "He ought to retire

     

    And if he dies? 'NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE HIS PLACE"!!! 

    DID YOU KNOW...

    That priests only work one day a week !

    That priests don’t get married because no one will have them

    That the symbol of a bishop is a CROOK

    And the symbol of an Archbishop is a DOUBLE CROSS!

     

    AND FINALLY

    That you can please some of the people all the time;  all the people some of the time: but not all the people all the time.

    In fact  you can’t please some people any of the time!!!!!

     

    I’d better go now!